BOOKSHOP STORIES.PART 2. RE-INVENTION. A MEDITATION. BY STEVEN BENSON.

And so I repaired(being the word), once more, to the newly re-invented, struggling treasure-trove of a bookshop (with café:)). It wasn’t term time but the café was twentyfold busier than its host bookshop. It had become a weekly joy(tinged with sadness) and routine… almost a pilgrimage.


A CACOPHONY OF VOICES, thus:

“It’s only a business/a shop”; “an outpost of capitalism”.

“Its a bit saddo coming here every week!”.

{Self-disparagement}.

My higher self SHOUTS back:

“It’s MORE than that to me{personal construct]: it is a bolthole, a haven, a sanctuary; IT IS SAFE; it is sociable:friends; or people just sat reading books in the café, like me, or peregrinating round the (small number of) aisles and shelves for that elusive book-hit, book-buzz, the perfect, elusive book; a silent communion of unknown book and coffee lovers. (The super-ego feels it has to state, clearly, I don’t think these strangers are my FRIENDS; I DO actually meet friends and partners there; you get it?. I am not talking to random denizens of bookshop or café!{though why not???!}We worry so much about what people think and internalise it{that is why people do not come out as gay}). Bookfilled and espresso-enlivened solitude is beautiful. Also, it is an ACADEMIC bookshop(ok, you might have guessed which one it is!), with novels(3 for 2, a small-ish but quirky collection). AND- though I sometimes use this a as a(semi) specious “reasoning” for buying from there {less books each time, like coming off a tranquillizer}-it needs supporting; the chain has CLOSED other branches, under fire from Amazon and the web generally. It is a creation of capitalism and a VICTIM of capitalism, in the vicious ideology’s need for endless re-invention and cycle of devouring itself{Lewis’s FAILED to re-invent, and, well, failed}.

SO, it is my well-worn (self)psychogeographical theme, which started with the decay of Lewis’s in 2010 https://decayetude.wordpress.com/2010/06/29/desuetudeimages-and-text-on-decay-and-memory-inspired-by-sebald-and-the-death-of-a-department-store/

My OWN body is in trouble now; the metaphor, unfortunately, works even better, and on even more levels: the fragile shop= a symbol  of my vulnerable, beleaguered body….

The little shop is also a metaphor for how we all( some more than others!) have to/choose to(if you are lucky) re-invent ourselves/our lives, to find-existentialist-meaning for going on going on.

Everything reflects back on itself/itselves like a (fairground) hall of mirrors: Jeremy, myself, up against the odds but persevering (fiery sometimes!).


 

Perhaps, the little bookshop/café is the place to write my hommage/thank you/tribute to the Right Honourable Jeremy Corbyn, M.P, who led the Labour Party for 21 months (projecting forward to election day); who, I hope dearly, will be Prime Minister: HE constantly re-invents himself; an inspiration and a hero….{ to follow}

 

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About decayetude

ENTHUSIASMS: CLASSICAL MUSIC, ESPECIALLY OBSCURE ROMANTIC COMPOSERS; BACH/HANDEL LITERATURE, ESPECIALLY THOUGHTFUL, WELL-WRITTEN(STYLISTICALLY)NOVELS W G SEBALD WALTER BENJAMIN THEODOR ADORNO(JUST BEGINNING!) AESTHETIC PHILOSOPHY GAY MEN'S WRITING;QUEER THEORY STIMULATING DISCUSSIONS(EMOTIONALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY) GOOD RICH THICK ESPRESSO MICHAEL PONTI SPRITUALITY/LIFE'S "AURA"(BENJAMIN), WHATEVER TRANSCENDENTAL THING YOU WANT TO CALL THIS MEMORY-the elusiveness thereof. LOST TIME AND AN ATTEMPT AT ITS REDEMPTION(NON THEISTICALLY/RELIGIOUSLY)
This entry was posted in alterity, Cafe, Jeremy Corbyn, life mirrors art, Phenomenology, psychogeography, Quirky captures, Re-envisionning, revolution, safety for marginalised groups, Self-actualisation, Uncategorized, Utopia, working outside hegemonies. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to BOOKSHOP STORIES.PART 2. RE-INVENTION. A MEDITATION. BY STEVEN BENSON.

  1. decayetude says:

    Thx, as ever, Gill:) xx

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