CREATING MY OWN SPRING.PSYCHOGEOGRAPHY IN ACTION! BY STEVEN BENSON.

As winter edges towards spring,I inhabit a liminal place/space, a queer(quirky, self-created, counter-hegemonic) SAFE space, an oasis; today, it is in Blackwell’s impoverished, slowly declining (but, temporarily, re-invented) new little University bookshop. Amidst. and athwart, the quotidian distress and fear of likely surgery, and relationship problems,I sit in the café within the little bookshop, embattled yet, somehow, safe(that applies to myself AND the bookshop!).


I bought:

1.”At the Existentialist Café”; lots of Kafka; a literary theory tome, which has sections on trauma theory and queer et other anti traditional canonic theoretic modules; and,most serendipitously of all,”The Gap of {In?} Time”(Winterson)….


So, I sit in this café, making some of my OWN meanings in an absurd world(which, sometimes, feels like I am myself on some kind of “trial” or where I feel somewhat imprisoned in a labarynthine building of non-sequiturs, which could also be my own troubled body):I sit here, now,just before Spring starts, trying so hard to SING, to feel alive; and I think of MY Spring:

My lovely, lively intellectual/intelligent and kind friends

My music, particularly the gift of appreciating my favourite composer(Moszkowski) and pianist(Michael Ponti);and my piano

My self-made Huysmanesque EXTERNAL body: my flat, a sanctuary despite the hideous “Sanctuary” housing association; a room for aspects of me: gay/queer/academic; gay sunshine rainbow; razzledazzle(ship) bathroom; orange and yellow kitchen; Gothic hallway(“Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here”{Dante} emblazoned across the entrance and containing variegated captures and blurrings and ghost figures.)

My books, Lps and cds

My bookshops:Waterstons, News from Nowhere, Henry Bohn and, as long as it lasts, Blackwells.

My tentative (still) reclamation of Liverpool: Sefton Park, and Stanley Street and Bold street:lgbt-friendly enclaves; concomitantly, and hauntologically, with my contrapuntal present in the past of my two, true spiritual homes: Aber(ystwyth) and Laurieston Hall


We create our OWN springs; we HAVE to; then we live in them…..

 

 

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About decayetude

ENTHUSIASMS: CLASSICAL MUSIC, ESPECIALLY OBSCURE ROMANTIC COMPOSERS; BACH/HANDEL LITERATURE, ESPECIALLY THOUGHTFUL, WELL-WRITTEN(STYLISTICALLY)NOVELS W G SEBALD WALTER BENJAMIN THEODOR ADORNO(JUST BEGINNING!) AESTHETIC PHILOSOPHY GAY MEN'S WRITING;QUEER THEORY STIMULATING DISCUSSIONS(EMOTIONALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY) GOOD RICH THICK ESPRESSO MICHAEL PONTI SPRITUALITY/LIFE'S "AURA"(BENJAMIN), WHATEVER TRANSCENDENTAL THING YOU WANT TO CALL THIS MEMORY-the elusiveness thereof. LOST TIME AND AN ATTEMPT AT ITS REDEMPTION(NON THEISTICALLY/RELIGIOUSLY)
This entry was posted in alterity, blurred captures, Cafe, cafes, ecriture cuir, gay, gay affirmative writing, Hauntology, Michael Ponti, Phenomenology, Piano music, psychogeography, psychogeography urban life village life village in the city, queer, queer constellations rememberances straightqueer, queer geography, queer theory, Queer wrting, Quirky captures, Re-envisionning, safer spaces(guidelines), Self-actualisation, Uncategorized, Utopia, wordcount, working outside hegemonies. Bookmark the permalink.

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