I MEET MY HERO, JEREMY CORBYN(EXPANDED VERSION).I AM HAPPY(YET SAD) BY STEVEN BENSON.

20170204_192338

And, so it seemed I emerged from a dark tunnel of 2 months’ anxiety into LIGHT.


The “Village Hall” was, actually, an old gymnasium, redolent of a GDR-style(now) redundant building, with its concrete and steel; wholly functional, with no decoration. Somewhat incongruously, amidst this barrenness, to continue the German analogies, were Weimar Republic cabaret style tables, ten people apiece( gathered expectantly). What I didn’t realise was that Jeremy, true to form, really HAD come for a chat.

Nervous, nervile, sort of BEYOND/parallel to happiness or joy, tempered with four milligrams of (prescription!) Valium,I angsted: would he really turn up……

Then the sun shone: in he walked, purposefully, NOT in Cameron’s mother’s inspired smart suit but in a slightly too short jacket, not scruffy but informal (befitting the occasion). The Right Honourable Jeremy Corbyn,MP, Leader (by a miracle, and almost by accident) of her Majesty’s official and loyal{sic!!!!; he is a Republican} Opposition; a statesman and, yet, a human: humane and personable.He shook a few peoples’ hands, including mine:”Jeremy”, I cried in strangulated, barely contained emotion, not far from tears of joy.Maria Eagle looked uncomfortable, backstabber that she was(HAD been??) and Steve Rotherham seemed genuine about his friend. Anyway the “Bitterrites”, those ersatz Tories, were little in evidence and Jeremy was amongst friends.

I recalled my other big hero (along with Derek Jarman):W G Sebald and noted the similarities: concern for all humankind( AND animals) and a world vision based on communitarianism (NO, NOT command economy communism!)where people looked after/out for each other, be it in networks of friends, families or subcultural communities: TRUE equality, for the disenfranchised, the marginalised and the erased, be they the displaced Chagos Islanders (Corbyn) or lgbt people(Corbyn and Sebald); but also not excluding entrepreneurship, as long as it benefitted society and harmed no-one. This was a QUIET revolution, in the minds of these two great men: no-one was to be hurt. To many people, with vested emotional and/or financial interests, it was scary: the “other” might prevail over the hegemony: the disenfranchised might gain equality… “NAIVE”, I hear you ullulate; it is all naïve; the economy(“where is the money going to come from”?{McDonnell’s economic policies are mainly mainstream Keynsian!}).

I felt happy; yet I felt sad, for, seeing him, in the flesh, for the first time, I saw a slightly frail, towards elderly man, who, just for a small part of his heartfelt speech about the plight of the NHS and about homelessness,leant(albeit lightly) on a chair; he seemed tired, after that speech. I also felt sad because of the bile,vitriol and sheer hatred thrown at him, remorselessly by his own Party(never mind the to-be-expected fear of a  challenge to the status quo of the so-called mainstream media); even some Tories (Jacob Rees-Mogg, a homophobic rightwinger, called him “principled”; but then you could argue they WOULD say that, because, like the Bitterites, they WANT him to fail). I felt sad that this dignified, ineffably kind, statesmanlike and, yes, in an alternative to the hegemonic way,Primeministerly(what do these terms mean anyway; they are , at least partly, received “wisdom”):- that this humane man was the subject of continued ridicule and under-estimation. This all in contrast to the painstakingness of his talking to about 300 people in the hall, in ones or groups, with his ubiquitous notebook, assiduously writing down their problems. I think many of those who hate or ignore him have more to hide and fear in THEMSELVES: their OWN masked “other” of compassion and humaneness.Jeremy is the Everyman: he is the Walt Whitman of politics: he is the gay or lesbian person, he is the person scratching a poor living, he is the victim of de-industrialization,he is the sick/disabled person and, as I said, he is also the entrepreneur; he is the politician who believes in interconnectedness of oppressions, not solely a workerist. His Everyman , yet “other”, nature leads, of course, to the endless scapegoating and misrepresentation.

But, despite this gloom, I STILL felt happiness in his transfiguring presence. He was MY man, OUR man(including lgbt people, for a change; his policies on lgbt are complete and far-reaching). he was also like my mum, in her massive humane concern: call her a “middleclass do-gooder”; call Jeremy such, too. So what ? They did/do good, in an unpatronising way.She, like him, changed the world around her (ecumenicalism, support for Africa, lgbt people). I wished mum was there: to scold him for his too-short jacket and to praise(most of!) his policies. What a debate her and I and Jeremy would have had; my mum who was PROUD of me, her gay son.


Time ticked on…the Valium kicked in, Maria carried on gritting her teeth, the Metro Mayor candidate set out his stall(a nice man who seemed-you can never tell in politics- a loyal PPS to Jeremy.)

There were, peculiarly, about 80 minutes still to pass after the set speeches. But, Jeremy really HAD come to chat to us, and, in a queer, atemporal sequence-time outside time- the clock seemed to stop as I realised he had been allowed all this time to walk round every table and talk to EVERYONE; well, at least that was the plan. One third the way around, he got mobbed by selfie-seekers and people panicking to jump the queue to speak to/ see him; including myself, after a while of patiently waiting my turn. I braved it, went upto his (very pleasant) minder and asked could I join the queue for a selfie and one sentence and was soon ushered in: the Valium had, mainly, removed the nerves and I cogently announced myself as a lgbt community activist and thanked Jeremy for his fulsome, great lgbt policies and speech at LGBT History Month(Febuary 2017); he was ever-so-tired:little response but an arm round my shoulder(see pictures!) as his friendly minder took FOUR selfies. I sat back and watched him, with a sort of happy, Valium- induced forlornness. This had been an evening of such bitter-sweet moments, Steve said(to the absent sebaldian narrator),{ the intertext here referring to my slightly unreal, outside-of-myself feeling, engendered by the insensity.}


Jeremy, you make me happy, whenever I see your kind face on TV(ok, sometimes grumpy in a difficult exchange with Ms. May or the media!). I DO NOT CARE if some of your policies may(?putatively/actually?) be Utopian. We NEED visions of hope (and not of the Owen Jones, opportunist disingenuous kind), to mend this money-driven, everyone-for-themselves, fear of minorities society we live in, represented, to various extents, by Ms. May and Donald Trump.


Jeremy, you make me happy…. and you love the gays:) xx20170204_192338

 

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About decayetude

ENTHUSIASMS: CLASSICAL MUSIC, ESPECIALLY OBSCURE ROMANTIC COMPOSERS; BACH/HANDEL LITERATURE, ESPECIALLY THOUGHTFUL, WELL-WRITTEN(STYLISTICALLY)NOVELS W G SEBALD WALTER BENJAMIN THEODOR ADORNO(JUST BEGINNING!) AESTHETIC PHILOSOPHY GAY MEN'S WRITING;QUEER THEORY STIMULATING DISCUSSIONS(EMOTIONALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY) GOOD RICH THICK ESPRESSO MICHAEL PONTI SPRITUALITY/LIFE'S "AURA"(BENJAMIN), WHATEVER TRANSCENDENTAL THING YOU WANT TO CALL THIS MEMORY-the elusiveness thereof. LOST TIME AND AN ATTEMPT AT ITS REDEMPTION(NON THEISTICALLY/RELIGIOUSLY)
This entry was posted in "Pride", gay, Hauntology, intersectionality, Jeremy Corbyn, Re-envisionning, revolution, safety for marginalised groups, Sebald, Self-actualisation, Uncategorized, Utopia, working outside hegemonies. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I MEET MY HERO, JEREMY CORBYN(EXPANDED VERSION).I AM HAPPY(YET SAD) BY STEVEN BENSON.

  1. decayetude says:

    Thx Gill:) life-changing moment :):):):)xx

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