UNAPOLOGETICALLY GAY AND MYSELF; MYSELF AND GAY

DEDICATED TO A LOVELY PERSON WHO MAINLY INSPIRED THIS OUTPOURING: she said she liked me for being just who I was:)…

UNAPOLOGETICALLY A GAY MAN.. AND….MYSELF…Neither “making an issue of it” nor ignoring it/minimizing it;neither “obsessing on it”/”making a statement” nor just confining myself to my sexual orientation(who would WANT to avoid the full richness of life and ALL parts of the self, though being gay is quintessential to all those aspects of myself): being unapologetically a gay man….Notice the quotation marks round the things gay people are sometimes  TOLD/PERCEIVED as doing if they are unapologetically gay, ie equally gay: either we are being seen as wanting to take over the world or over -concerned with “sexual identity” (politics).. Being gay is a VERY important PART of me; not the whole, but a VERY important PART… nor am I (unconsciously) aligning myself with “victim politics/identity”.

My friends see me as a WHOLE person AND a gay man; I am,rather, talking about the world at large where this labelling/stereotyping goes on.

So… be it these gay-affirmative friends….be it gay(interest)   literature(a re-claimed and re-deemed canon for which, thank you, Gregory Woods and others)…. be it the spiritually awakening and life-enhancing Edward Carpenter Community of gay men: they are all part of me being UNAPOLOLOGETICALLY GAY….. and also, a WHOLE person

If I am perceived as a stereotype(rare in my experience, luckily), it is by people i should not want to know anyway; prejudiced people with whom I do not wish to have dealings……

…………………………………………………

So, I can PLAY with stereotypes… I can BE a stereotype if I choose… I can play with camp(in some/all of its manifestations) OR I can BE camp(or not be camp)..I Do NOT CARE:I like playing with all these roles/stereotypes(Sedgewick calls it “performativity”!)

And, all that not withstanding, I can be and AM, accepted as a WHOLE person(INCLUDING that very important part of me,{ being a gay man,but not that alone: a WHOLE person})… nor  am i that insecure that I MIND how people perceive me in this respect.

So, to my friends, who accept me as I am, I am “preaching” to the converted(sorry about that!). So I end with

A REVERSE Dedication:This outpouring is also addressed to those gay people who are frightened of being “too gay”(though I respect every single gay person deals with their sexual orientation and labelling/stereotyping issues in their own individualistic way; that is their right, but there lies the aporia, the unentangleable knot):-there is no NEED to be scared; people who like you will percieve you as a WHOLE, COMPLETE person, with or without a (strong or not) element of gay SELF(not imposed)self-identification: the others are not worth knowing or can be educated(and that is not bad: we ALL, to a greater or lesser extent, need to be educated in understanding ALL people who are  different from “the norm”.)

Advertisements

About decayetude

ENTHUSIASMS: CLASSICAL MUSIC, ESPECIALLY OBSCURE ROMANTIC COMPOSERS; BACH/HANDEL LITERATURE, ESPECIALLY THOUGHTFUL, WELL-WRITTEN(STYLISTICALLY)NOVELS W G SEBALD WALTER BENJAMIN THEODOR ADORNO(JUST BEGINNING!) AESTHETIC PHILOSOPHY GAY MEN'S WRITING;QUEER THEORY STIMULATING DISCUSSIONS(EMOTIONALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY) GOOD RICH THICK ESPRESSO MICHAEL PONTI SPRITUALITY/LIFE'S "AURA"(BENJAMIN), WHATEVER TRANSCENDENTAL THING YOU WANT TO CALL THIS MEMORY-the elusiveness thereof. LOST TIME AND AN ATTEMPT AT ITS REDEMPTION(NON THEISTICALLY/RELIGIOUSLY)
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to UNAPOLOGETICALLY GAY AND MYSELF; MYSELF AND GAY

  1. Merry says:

    Dear Steve, I am endlessly fascinated in who you are and in your life story, in the ways you and I are different and the same. My life is very much enriched by knowing you. Love, Merry

  2. decayetude says:

    That is lovely, Merry; and it is mutual:) You are zany(in a good way), creative, compassionate and FUN person.I suppose the point i was trying to get across was that, as gay man, i AM different in some ways(and I LIKE that) but also, all being humans,we have universalities(eg.of spirit) and you and I , in particular, have commonalities of modes of thinking and humour:) Love steve

  3. Merry says:

    So you are different, as you say, as a gay man, and I like that! Getting to know you is part of my exploration of what it means to be human. You are the best! Love, Merry (Forgive me if this sounds dopey. I’m trying — but what I feel really goes beyond words or beyond the words I can come up with at the moment.)

  4. Merry says:

    PS Thank you for the nice things you said about me. Now I will be quiet for today.

  5. decayetude says:

    Thanks Merry and Gill:)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s